Poland

Hola amigos, I am currently in Poland and have been here for a little less than two weeks. I would kill for a carne asada burrito right now, its not even normal. Agghh. So much has happened while I've been here, it's crazy! My sister and her husband met me here and we have been staying with some of their friend in Warsaw, so it's been fun and nice to have familiar faces around.
The second night I got here we went to go see Bad Religion in concert which was amazing!! We all had a hefty amount of alcohol in our systems and so I decided that I was suddenly a mosher --- iinn my rainbow sandals. Not such a good idea, but it was really fun. So after the concert I'm all stoked on Bad Religion, etc and we all went out to get food and drinks, where I proceeded to black out drinking cherry vodka. Supposedly I was lecturing my 29 year old sister on her life, which wasn't embarassing enough for my own standards so I continued to pass out on the couch and puke on it in my sleep. Awesome job, idiot. I'm with all these people who are actual adults and don't pull shit like this anymore so I was pretty much humiliated. Who pukes in their sleep?
So once this whole fiasco blew over, we went on this adventure and repelled down a cave. Seriously it was sooo awesome. I felt like Indiana Jones. You are just dangling from some ropes and slowly lower yourself down into the cave, which was more than 100 feet deep. All you can see is your little beam of light from your headlamp soo it's pretty creepy, especially when your little light is exposing the plethora of bats and spiders covering the walls of the cave. When you come back up, you're dangling at least 100 feet in the air above a cave and it is scary as SHIT. Literally, I've never been more scared in my life and considered yelling my last wishes to my sister. All in all, though, it was amazing... especially since I didn't die.
A few days later, we went to Auschwitz-Birkenau and checked out the concentration camp. It was so crazy to walk around where all these people died and lived in such terrible conditions. Definitely a really sad and interesting experience, but I'm so glad to have seen it.
Our last adventure in Poland was a kayaking trip. So fun! We kayaked like 45 or more kilometers over 3 days and at night stayed in little cabins along the river. It was really cool to see the beautiful Polish countryside! During the day we would get shwasty drinking beers on the kayaks which always made things a little more interesting. Kayaking whilst fucked up is kinda a terrible idea, considering kayaks flip over SO easily, but we managed to keep it real and not kill ourselves.
Welp, I am all done with most of the recent events of my travels and everything. Love to everyone :) -- peace out

A little más

Okay so I am currently in Switzerland with my momma just roadtrippin. I've been pretty sick and haven't really been drunk in awhile. So naturally I decided to drink for Swiss day (their equivalent of 4th of July). After like 5 glasses of wine my mom publicly humiliates me and cuts me off! 1st of all... If she would drink with me I wouldn't be polishing off bottles of wine all by myself. Second... It's a public holiday... Isn't rule number one: get crunk?? PLUS the sexiest guy I've ever met in my life was pouring me free glasses of wine. So not only did mama g cockblock, she took away my vino. So depressing. Like literally... Finest piece of ass ever. F my sober and lonely life.

Baha but really Switzerland is absolutely breathtaking. I went to the top of the alps today and can't really explain how beautiful it is!

I hope anyone reading this is having a wonderful summer! I miss and love you all muuchhoo <3 ciao

This took me a month to figure out how to do this on my phone. So suck it.

Okay holy bajeesus. This is super outdated. Okay so since I last wrote I have been to Paris, all through Belgium, Amsterdam, Berlin, Budapest, all down the west side of Germany and through Switzerland (with my mom).

Okay so Paris was fucking awesome. Me and Elise went to all the normal sites blah blah. But we went to the museum of erotic art. Which of course led to awkward encounters with creepy men (wandering thru the museum solo) in north face jackets, greasy hair, ugly sandals, etc. You know the type. The museum was full of dildos and porn and everything sexual you can think of ranging from the early 1900s to today. Super weird and pretty... Intriguing? ... We also watched the world cup finals in Paris which was really fun. Essentially we wound up taking shots of nasty cheap tequila (always keepin it classy) and dancing on bartops with española women.

Amsterdam was seriously the biggest surprise of every city we went to. It was really clean and had a lot to offer. Including ten dollar grams of daannkk that I of course pounced on immediately. It was so refreshing/relaxing/fucking awesome to roll my own joint and be like, listen bitches, I'm gonna smoke this and be stoned as hell and it's leeggaalll.-- beyond the weed business we hit up the van gogh museum which was phenomenal. SERIOUSLY the red light district is a trriipp. I was just casually walking around checking out the hookers and this one harlot just prances out of her little window and grabs my arm, caresses it down, and tries to convince me and this guy I was walking with to come in. Hell no am I about to touch some red light district vag. Homegirl be paying me for that Hahah. After the stripper encounter... We decided to go to a cheap sex show. TERRIBLE mistake. If you ever find yourself wondering if you should enter a shady sex show do yourself a favor and go drink more beer instead. Holy shit. I have never seen more middle aged flacid penis in my life. I'm pretty sure everyone involved is scarred for life. Ew. Just writing about that gave me the heeby jeebys. And this is like... 2.5 weeks later!! - me an Elise an these two guys we met decided to drink that shady memory away in a bar where me and this guy mischa (yes, like mischa barton) wound up pinching every persons ass in the bar for our own personal enjoyment. Apparently Russian ice princesses to not take ass pinching too kindly... Because I almost got socked in the face... But escaped unscathed (luckily).